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The Mostlandian Embassy
We're Here To Help You
| The Mostlandian Embassy dedicates itself providing assistance and refuge to citizens of Mostlandia, as well as offering help and information to citizens of other places as well. The Embassy strives to provide a connection to Agencies, Commissions, Bureaus, Departments, Administrations, Committees (and so on) that one would find in Mostlandia, although the Embassy is not able to offer the full range of services found in Mostlandia. A list of services are provided below, although please be aware that not all services may be available at the time of your arrival. Be prepared to either intuit your proper arrival time, or ready your patience in advance. The employees of the Embassy are grateful and thank you in advance. | |
| Commission on Aesthetics |
All questions or concerns regarding aesthetics of any variety may be addressed to the representative of this Commission. (Free) |
| Finger Foods Administration |
Stranded? Hungry? In need of comfort? Entertaining guests? Finger foods always seem to do the trick. (Free) |
| Department of Approval |
In the event that you need to become officially approved. (Free) |
| Department of Great Ideas |
Register your great idea before it is stolen by some sly eavesdropper. (Free) |
| Department of Monday |
This Department handles everything under the sun. On Mondays. (Not open Mondays) (Free) |
| Department of Questionables |
Questions, quandries, inquiries, musings, and paranoid worries are handled by this department. (Free) |
| Department of Received Citizens |
The focus of this Department is on helping Mostlandics in need of travel or other assistance. New citizens with passport needs must visit this Department for the required paperwork. Citizens of Other Places that would like official travel through Mostlandia should stop by for a visa. (Mostlandic assistance: free, Passport: $10, Visa: $1) |
| Department of Records |
In order to officially and publicly record important events in your life, the Department of Records requires full completion of Form DR005. (Free) |
| Department of Safety Matters! |
Safety is of utmost importance within or without Mostlandia. Stay safe: visit this Department. (Free) |
| Department of Translation |
English-to-Mostlandic translation is provided for personal or business communications. (Translation: $0.25 per word) |
| High Fives! |
Over-head hand-slapping services. (Free) |
| Holiday Planning and Approval Panel |
Please visit the representative of this Panel before declaring your Holiday "official". (Free) |
| Jr. Ambassador Ice Cream Company |
United States of Americans have a bureau called the "Girl Scouts" who sell cookies in order to advance themselves. This is pretty much the same thing, except that it is delicious ice cream being offered in order to eventually promote our Jr. Ambassador to Ambassador status. (Donations only) |
| Kissing Booth $1 |
Kisses of the cheek or lip variety provided to all Mostlandics and all sanitary-looking Citizens of Other Places. (Kisses: $1) |
| Love and Friendship Index |
The feelings of Mostlandics and Citizens of Other Places has an effect of the Love and Friendship Index. Please register all changes in emotional states here. (Kiosk unavailable, forms only) (Free) |
| The M.O.S.T. |
All information regarding the M.O.S.T., Mostlandia's greatest cultural export, can be gained here. One M.O.S.T. trading card will be provided to each inquirer, although a randomly selected assortment of ten can be obtained for a small fee. Your friends will certainly be impressed. At your request, your own personalized trading card will be produced. Your friends will then stop acting impressed, and will then be honestly impressed. (Information and single trading card: free, Bundle of 10 trading cards: $4, Personalized trading card) |
| Welcoming Committee |
Welcome to the Mostlandian Embassy! Welcome to where you are! Welcome to where you will be going! You might feel even more welcome and comfortable if you receive a fitting haircut. (Free) |
| The What to Say Program |
Mostlandics and Citizens of Other Places lacking an exact knowledge of what to say in a given situation may petition the Program on advice of what to say. The Program is funded and endorsed by the Love and Friendship Index. (Free) |
| Your Bureau Here |
In the event that there is a service that you are feeling you are lacking, you may petition Your Bureau Here (provided by Bureau of Bureaucracy) to institue your required organization. Please note that results may be limited, lacking in resources, greatly delayed, or entirely inefficient. (Free) |
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Other services offered by the Embassy: At 3:00pm, Diplomat Monsieur Einrich Elkhart, in approval and association with the Burea of Portals, conducts a brief walking tour through the nearby streets of the M District of Topophilia. The historic FlatIrons are typically not visible from this district, although the Northern point of the Rabbit Ears is sometimes seen. At 5:53pm each day, the Embassy hosts a performer to play the Mostlandian Anthem during the flag lowering (or raising, depending on the position of the flag). The anthem is not strictly composed, and varies from performer to performer, and from day to day. Please be aware that many of the services provided by the Embassy require the completion of forms; depending on the nature of the form completed, a response to the form may take as long as fifteen minutes. Passports and Personalized Trading Cards will not be available for receipt until the next day that the Embassy is open, although payment is required in advance. Please stand single-file in line, unless requested otherwise. If your child does not appreciate the aesthetics of the Embassy and begins to wail, please advance to the Commission on Aesthetics as quickly as possible or calm the child. Conversational behavior during the wait for your particular service is encouraged (especially if the conversation is with a stranger), although if you are a Citizen of Another Place please have a conversation with the person next to you rather than with the one on the end of your cellular device. Cutting in line is only tolerated when the Embassy employees do not notice it, or when a bribe is slipped to the right person. Please do not urinate anywhere in the Embassy unless receiving prior approval from Embassy staff. Please be prepared to wear a hard hat if so instructed. It is suggested that Form #SI3654 is filled out, completed, and approved before entry to the Mostlandian Embassy, although not entirely necessary at all (available from the Bureau of Bureaucracy). The Embassy's Jr. Ambassador needs his Ice Cream Van repaired, so please donate generously. The Mostlandian Embassy claims no responsibility for the following: a lack of fully-functional pens to complete forms; sudden and violent shifting of land (known to many Other Places as an "earthquake"); general impatience; bad feng-shui; three-day gout; or a lack of compassion due to bureaucratic standards and measure. The Mostlandian Embassy would like to thank PICA for recognizing its portal in its general schedule of events. The Mostlandian Embassy is not accountable for lost or stolen items, unless specifically accepted by a member of the Embassy's staff. Your happiness is not guaranteed by the Mostlandian staff, but they do guarantee that they would like to see you happy. If a traumatic event has recently occured in your life, the Mostlandian Embassy would like to extend its condolences. The Mostlandian Embassy apologizes in advance for any members of its staff that might be hungover during your interaction, they really all go out at night too much, don't you think? The Mostlandian Embassy thanks you for your attendance, and hopes that you have an overall pleasant experience in Mostlandia. |
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| Please be aware that many of the services provided by the Embassy require the completion of forms; depending on the nature of the form completed, a response to the form may take as long as fifteen minutes. Passports and Personalized Trading Cards will not be available for receipt until the next day that the Embassy is open, although payment is required in advance. Please stand single-file in line, unless requested otherwise. If your child does not appreciate the aesthetics of the Embassy and begins to wail, please advance to the Commission on Aesthetics as quickly as possible or calm the child. Conversational behavior during the wait for your particular service is encouraged (especially if the conversation is with a stranger), although if you are a Citizen of Another Place please have a conversation with the person next to you rather than with the one on the end of your cellular device. Cutting in line is only tolerated when the Embassy employees do not notice it, or when a bribe is slipped to the right person. Please do not urinate anywhere in the Embassy unless receiving prior approval from Embassy staff. Please be prepared to wear a hard hat if so instructed. It is suggested that Form #SI3654 is filled out, completed, and approved before entry to the Mostlandian Embassy, although not entirely necessary at all (available from the Bureau of Bureaucracy). The Embassy's Jr. Ambassador needs his Ice Cream Van repaired, so please donate generously. The Mostlandian Embassy claims no responsibility for the following: a lack of fully-functional pens to complete forms; sudden and violent shifting of land (known to many Other Places as an "earthquake"); general impatience; bad feng-shui; three-day gout; or a lack of compassion due to bureaucratic standards and measure. The Mostlandian Embassy would like to thank PICA for recognizing its portal in its general schedule of events. The Mostlandian Embassy is not accountable for lost or stolen items, unless specifically accepted by a member of the Embassy's staff. Your happiness is not guaranteed by the Mostlandian staff, but they do guarantee that they would like to see you happy. If a traumatic event has recently occured in your life, the Mostlandian Embassy would like to extend its condolences. The Mostlandian Embassy apologizes in advance for any members of its staff that might be hungover during your interaction, they really all go out at night too much, don't you think? The Mostlandian Embassy thanks you for your attendance, and hopes that you have an overall pleasant experience in Mostlandia. Please be aware that many of the services provided by the Embassy require the completion of forms; depending on the nature of the form completed, a response to the form may take as long as fifteen minutes. Passports and Personalized Trading Cards will not be available for receipt until the next day that the Embassy is open, although payment is required in advance. Please stand single-file in line, unless requested otherwise. If your child does not appreciate the aesthetics of the Embassy and begins to wail, please advance to the Commission on Aesthetics as quickly as possible or calm the child. Conversational behavior during the wait for your particular service is encouraged (especially if the conversation is with a stranger), although if you are a Citizen of Another Place please have a conversation with the person next to you rather than with the one on the end of your cellular device. Cutting in line is only tolerated when the Embassy employees do not notice it, or when a bribe is slipped to the right person. Please do not urinate anywhere in the Embassy unless receiving prior approval from Embassy staff. Please be prepared to wear a hard hat if so instructed. It is suggested that Form #SI3654 is filled out, completed, and approved before entry to the Mostlandian Embassy, although not entirely necessary at all (available from the Bureau of Bureaucracy). The Embassy's Jr. Ambassador needs his Ice Cream Van repaired, so please donate generously. The Mostlandian Embassy claims no responsibility for the following: a lack of fully-functional pens to complete forms; sudden and violent shifting of land (known to many Other Places as an "earthquake"); general impatience; bad feng-shui; three-day gout; or a lack of compassion due to bureaucratic standards and measure. The Mostlandian Embassy would like to thank PICA for recognizing its portal in its general schedule of events. The Mostlandian Embassy is not accountable for lost or stolen items, unless specifically accepted by a member of the Embassy's staff. Your happiness is not guaranteed by the Mostlandian staff, but they do guarantee that they would like to see you happy. If a traumatic event has recently occured in your life, the Mostlandian Embassy would like to extend its condolences. The Mostlandian Embassy apologizes in advance for any members of its staff that might be hungover during your interaction, they really all go out at night too much, don't you think? The Mostlandian Embassy thanks you for your attendance, and hopes that you have an overall pleasant experience in Mostlandia. Please be aware that many of the services provided by the Embassy require the completion of forms; depending on the nature of the form completed, a response to the form may take as long as fifteen minutes. Passports and Personalized Trading Cards will not be available for receipt until the next day that the Embassy is open, although payment is required in advance. Please stand single-file in line, unless requested otherwise. If your child does not appreciate the aesthetics of the Embassy and begins to wail, please advance to the Commission on Aesthetics as quickly as possible or calm the child. Conversational behavior during the wait for your particular service is encouraged (especially if the conversation is with a stranger), although if you are a Citizen of Another Place please have a conversation with the person next to you rather than with the one on the end of your cellular device. Cutting in line is only tolerated when the Embassy employees do not notice it, or when a bribe is slipped to the right person. Please do not urinate anywhere in the Embassy unless receiving prior approval from Embassy staff. Please be prepared to wear a hard hat if so instructed. It is suggested that Form #SI3654 is filled out, completed, and approved before entry to the Mostlandian Embassy, although not entirely necessary at all (available from the Bureau of Bureaucracy). The Embassy's Jr. Ambassador needs his Ice Cream Van repaired, so please donate generously. The Mostlandian Embassy claims no responsibility for the following: a lack of fully-functional pens to complete forms; sudden and violent shifting of land (known to many Other Places as an "earthquake"); general impatience; bad feng-shui; three-day gout; or a lack of compassion due to bureaucratic standards and measure. The Mostlandian Embassy would like to thank PICA for recognizing its portal in its general schedule of events. The Mostlandian Embassy is not accountable for lost or stolen items, unless specifically accepted by a member of the Embassy's staff. Your happiness is not guaranteed by the Mostlandian staff, but they do guarantee that they would like to see you happy. If a traumatic event has recently occured in your life, the Mostlandian Embassy would like to extend its condolences. The Mostlandian Embassy apologizes in advance for any members of its staff that might be hungover during your interaction, they really all go out at night too much, don't you think? The Mostlandian Embassy thanks you for your attendance, and hopes that you have an overall pleasant experience in Mostlandia. Please be aware that many of the services provided by the Embassy require the completion of forms; depending on the nature of the form completed, a response to the form may take as long as fifteen minutes. Passports and Personalized Trading Cards will not be available for receipt until the next day that the Embassy is open, although payment is required in advance. Please stand single-file in line, unless requested otherwise. If your child does not appreciate the aesthetics of the Embassy and begins to wail, please advance to the Commission on Aesthetics as quickly as possible or calm the child. Conversational behavior during the wait for your particular service is encouraged (especially if the conversation is with a stranger), although if you are a Citizen of Another Place please have a conversation with the person next to you rather than with the one on the end of your cellular device. Cutting in line is only tolerated when the Embassy employees do not notice it, or when a bribe is slipped to the right person. Please do not urinate anywhere in the Embassy unless receiving prior approval from Embassy staff. Please be prepared to wear a hard hat if so instructed. It is suggested that Form #SI3654 is filled out, completed, and approved before entry to the Mostlandian Embassy, although not entirely necessary at all (available from the Bureau of Bureaucracy). The Embassy's Jr. Ambassador needs his Ice Cream Van repaired, so please donate generously. The Mostlandian Embassy claims no responsibility for the following: a lack of fully-functional pens to complete forms; sudden and violent shifting of land (known to many Other Places as an "earthquake"); general impatience; bad feng-shui; three-day gout; or a lack of compassion due to bureaucratic standards and measure. The Mostlandian Embassy would like to thank PICA for recognizing its portal in its general schedule of events. The Mostlandian Embassy is not accountable for lost or stolen items, unless specifically accepted by a member of the Embassy's staff. Your happiness is not guaranteed by the Mostlandian staff, but they do guarantee that they would like to see you happy. If a traumatic event has recently occured in your life, the Mostlandian Embassy would like to extend its condolences. The Mostlandian Embassy apologizes in advance for any members of its staff that might be hungover during your interaction, they really all go out at night too much, don't you think? The Mostlandian Embassy thanks you for your attendance, and hopes that you have an overall pleasant experience in Mostlandia. | |